maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
