i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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