Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
