remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
