Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
