Is it because I queefed?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
