I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
