This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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