Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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