If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
