hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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