Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
