On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
