id be glad to
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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