but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
