are you still at the devil's house?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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