I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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