I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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