My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
