I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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