You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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