please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
