franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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