You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
