I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
