mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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