My liver just broke up with me...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
