White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
