Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
