I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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