Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
