How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
