whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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