hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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