Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
