I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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