i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
