So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
