Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
