Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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