You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just had sex bonerless
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
