I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
