Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
