Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
