i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
