yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
