Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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