if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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