i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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