lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
