I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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