No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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