I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
