Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There r osticjed everywhere
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
