He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
