Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
