So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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