after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
