Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
